RM (zinthos) wrote in temps_mort,

Notch, Fullmetal Alchemist, PG, Yaoi (RoyxEd, Havoc and Ed)

Title: Notch
Author: Riku
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Type: Yaoi/Humor
Pairing/Characters: RoyxEd, Havoc and Ed
Rating: PG (language, minor implications)
Summary: He was a loveless military man. He was a vertically challenged alchemist. Together, they fought Roy.
Challenge Topic: Revenge
Disclaimer: All characters, setting, etc. are copyright to Arukawa, Square Enix, Bones, and everyone else with copyrights for Fullmetal Alchemist. These characters are most certainly not mine, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.
Notes: Baaaarely made the time limit this time around. Very long piece. Also, newbie. Hi. *waves*
Edit: Removed a spoiler for episode 25.


Tchik. Tchik. Tchik.

As he surveyed his handiwork, Jean Havoc let out a smoky sigh. It was the only time he ever used his pocketknife; there simply wasn’t much use for it otherwise. “Grace,” he mumbled. “Number seventeen.”

A low whistle went around the group. Fury had crouched low to the desk, allowing Breda enough room to peer over the top of him; Falman, on the other hand, stood squinting above them all. “Seventeen. Goddamn,” said Breda. “You really don’t have any luck with women, do you?”

“Not the good kind,” replied Havoc, running his hand along the side of his desk. Seventeen notches, seventeen names, seventeen girlfriends snatched away by the irresistible Mustang. “Laura, Sophia, Julia, Wren, Solaris--“

Something BANGed in the next room, followed shortly by an angry shout. “Who the HELL are you calling CHIBI you goddamn piece of SHIT colonel--“

“--Adrienne, Lillian, Penelope, Maria, Susan--“ He was running out of fingers.

Just then, Edward Elric stormed through the office. “You keep manipulating me, you son of a bitch!” he screeched, glaring back at the door he’d just come through. “Even if it’s the last thing I do--“

“--Kate, Becca, Anne, Meagan, Rachel--“

“--you are going DOWN.”

“--Pauline and Grace.” Havoc was a pool of misery on the desk. “I really liked Grace. He’s even taking her out on a date tonight,” he continued unhappily. “Seven o’clock. Swan Queen Café.”

Before he could do anything more, two hands slammed violently down on his desk. “Did you say he had a date tonight?” demanded Edward. “Tonight?”

It took Havoc a few moments to regather his thoughts (and replace the cigarette that had fallen out of his mouth). Even here at the office, it was unusual to have the feisty young alchemist bearing down on him. The other staff managed a hasty retreat--the cowards--and left the two blonds alone in the room. “Yeah. Tonight,” he said at length. “Seven o’clock.”

Edward waved one automail hand dismissively. “I heard everything past that.” Much to Havoc’s relief, Ed seemed to be calming now, thinking rather than lashing out at random. The kid was sixteen, supposedly, but time had not done much to temper his temper. “That bastard’s been double-crossing both of us.”

“Eh?” The second lieutenant blinked in confusion. “Hold on a minute. How’s he been double-crossing you?” And what the hell did I just get myself into?

“Hakweye. Don’t ask. Really,” he replied. Was that embarrassment Havoc saw? Or just more anger? “The point is,” continued Edward as he drummed his fingers against the desk, “I’m pissed off. You’re pissed off. And I’ve got an idea.” Evil grins were ten times more disturbing on such a small face.

“An idea?” Seventeen, thought Havoc as he eyed the notches on his desk. That’s seventeen too many.

If Edward Elric had been evil before, he looked positively malicious now. “Exactly. There should be a smaller café right across the street…”


Over the course of his life, Jean Havoc had often found himself doing strange things. Sometimes he wondered if it was some clause he had missed, some hidden “you must be this insane to join the military” prerequisite or another. At other times he blamed it on Mustang himself, or even Hughes. But even then it was something he could get used to, something he could ignore after a while.

Strange he could deal with. But this was Edward Elric.

With a quick flick of his wrist, Havoc checked the time on his watch. 6:58. Technically, his date wasn’t late just yet--wouldn’t be late until 7:00 proper--but it made him uneasy all the same. Mustang and Grace would surely arrive at any minute, and then what was he supposed to do?

Just as the town clock struck seven, his date stomped up to the table. A mumbled apology, a small bouquet of flowers slapped into existence, and the distinct clank of automail as it connected with the table. “Is he here yet?” asked Ed, holding the bouquet in front of his face like blue and red camoflage.

“Not--wait.” Someone in a military uniform was gliding down the street, a giggly brunette tucked neatly under his arm. Havoc froze. He knew that giggle, loved the way it sparkled like champagne in her sweet face--

“Snap out of it,” hissed Edward. “They’re sitting down.”

Mustang was in fine form tonight. Even before they sat down he was all smiles, stroking his chin occasionally to suppress a smirk. “That’s him alright,” whispered Havoc. He could even make out some of their conversation. Talking about the weather, for god’s sake.

Edward leaned forward on the table. “Good. Kiss me.”

Havoc nearly fell out of his seat. “What?”

“Kiss me. It’s either that or scintillating conversation, and I don’t think we can manage the latter.” The blond kept staring over at Mustang, gold eyes focused intently on every move the man made.

“I’m not kissing you.” And what do you mean, ‘I don’t think we can manage the latter’? “He’s not even looking this way.”

At that, Edward sighed irritably. “Then I’ll make him look this way,” he said with a scowl. Already his hands were closing quickly, preparing to clap together for a transmutation.

“Wait,” interrupted Havoc, reaching for the other man’s arm. “Talking first. I thought you said this was a date.”

Although he could have broken Havoc’s grip quite easily, Edward sighed and sat back instead. “This is just to get Mustang jealous, you know. We don’t actually have to do anything besides that.”

The kid had a point, Havoc admitted. But something in him wanted a bit more out of this, something above and beyond petty jealousy. Chewing on his cigarette thoughtfully, the lieutenant ran through all the conversation openers he could think of. “…how’s the weather?”

Edward twitched. “Who are you calling--“

“No, wait! Not that kind of joke.” Havoc stood hastily, hands raised high in a sign of surrender. “The weather. You know, rain and stuff.”

The blond seemed to contemplate this thought, although from the glances he shot across the street it was clear that his mind was not really on the weather. “Chilly. Looks like rain.”

Since Edward hadn’t attacked him just yet, Havoc slowly settled himself back into his chair. “Right. Well. Hmm.” It was his turn to glance across the street; Mustang still seemed quite preoccupied with his date. “What about life?”

“It’s there?” Ed leaned on one arm impatiently, automail fingers drumming staccato against the café table. “Missions, visiting Al back home, that sort of thing.”

“You didn’t stay in Riesenburg?”

In response, the blond shook his head. “Too quiet. And,” here he glanced over at Mustang once again “lonely.”

Havoc extinguished his cigarette and gazed at Edward thoughtfully. “Most people are,” he said. “Lonely, that is.”

“Maybe,” replied Ed. Though his tone was as confident as ever, the blond’s shoulders seemed to droop considerably. “It’s not like I’m alone. Al is safe, human, and happy. He and Winry make a great couple.” He wasn’t even looking across the street any more. “I don’t understand why that shit colonel keeps teasing me like this.”

Without even realizing it, Havoc had placed a hand on Ed’s head. Soft, he realized with surprise. His hair is so soft. “Hey, look. I’m no Roy Mustang--“ Edward looked up at him “--but Jean Havoc isn’t such a bad backup, is it?”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then he could feel Edward’s automail fingers against his shirt, pulling his face close. “He’s watching,” muttered the blond alchemist. “Hurry up.”

Havoc glance across the street one more time. “No he’s not--“

It was the last coherent thought he would have for quite some time.


“No luck with the women, eh?”

Havoc groaned. Not again.

But Breda was persistent, leaning on the back of his chair as he grinned. In the week since his date with Edward, rumors had spread like wildfire. That was what he got for going along with Fullmetal… “Well, if you look at him right, I suppose he does look feminine.” The other officer seemed almost thoughtful, considering that possibility.

“Shut up.”

“And that braid. He’s not bad, really.”

“Shut up.”

If Breda had anything further to say, he was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Edward Elric, who was looking quite smug after his latest report to Colonel Mustang. “That,” he said as he passed Havoc’s desk, “takes care of that.”

“Eh.” Breda was remarkably silent in the presence of Edward, something which pleased Havoc to no end. “Guess it does.”

Edward paused in the doorway. “7:00 tonight, right?”

“Right.” A pause; he took a moment to light a cigarette. “Week’s anniversary?”

“Something like that.” And with one final grin, Edward tromped out into the hallway.

Tchik. Tchik. Tchik.

Something tugged at Havoc’s senses, something familiar. “What’s that?” he asked, looking at Breda with a confused expression.

Tchik. There it was again. If Havoc didn’t know better, he would have sworn it was the sound of metal picking at wood. “Sounds like it’s coming from Mustang’s office,” said Breda.

“Mustang’s office.” As he spoke those words, a wide grin settled across Havoc’s face. “Mustang’s office,” he repeated. Even as he got to his feet to peer inside, the blond knew what he would see. Or, at least, what he hoped he would see:

One solitary notch carved into the side of Mustang’s desk.


crossposted to personal LJ

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